


Dear Future Me

by dion



Category: Akanishi Jin - Fandom, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 02:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1493770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dion/pseuds/dion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This letter is buried in time capsule that will be opened 10 years later<br/>Words from my deepest heart, that i hope will stay in it even after a long time</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Future Me

Dear _my love_ ,

How are _you_ now?  
I've missed _you_ a little too much  
Are _you_ even still there?  
I really hope so, because even the tiniest part of _you_ still matters to me  
About 4,5 years ago, when I was still clueless about almost everything, _you_ came into my life and changed it without me knowing  
Since the day I met _you_ , I had a thought, “people said _you_ are special, is that true?”  
Every time I saw _you_ then, before I realized it I put a lot of attention on _you_  
It didn't take me long to start realizing that there’s indeed something special about _you_

  


_“This won’t do”_ – it once crossed my mind 

  


There was a denial side of me who told me that I should stop everything before it’s too late because I’d regret it later  
But the other side of me was still curious and wanted to know a lot more about _you_  
The more I knew _you_ , my heart would always beat faster each time I recognized little things about _you_

  


_“Am I falling for you?”_ – I asked myself many times

  


When I was no longer confused about my feeling, I decided to make a special place for _you_ in my heart and hold _you_ dearly in it  
I don’t know how it happened but as the time passed by, _you_ became so important to me  
My best friends who heard about _you_ from my stories were most likely confused, but they slowly understood why I love _you_ anyway  
It was really fun. _you_ always made me smile and lifted up my mood  
 _you_ became my source of happiness and courage to face the day I live  
Even the whole bad day could turn out nice because _you_ were there to cheer me up

I really enjoyed the time I spent with _you_  
From then I started to feel that even little things about _you_ mattered to me  
When I heard good news about _you_ , even if it was just the tiniest, I’d be really happy  
Even when I heard my friends talking about the good side of _you_ , I couldn't help myself but to show my genuine smile from my deepest heart  
and when I heard someone talking bad about _you_ , I’d be really sad  
My heart couldn't take the hatred they uttered toward _you_ , not even the slightest  
I even questioned myself,  
Are those little things worth crying over?  
Well, i didn't know the answer  
because _you_ could even make me happy and sad at the same time  
In only 6 months, _you_ became my priority, your happiness was my happiness, and your sadness was also my sadness  
My world was full of _you_

But as my love grew bigger and bigger for _you_ , I was scared of the time passing by  
Ah, I shouldn't have talked about time if it has something to do with _you_  
It only made me a selfish one who never wanted the time to continue running so that I could be with _you_ forever like we used to  
The fact that nothing will last forever, it’s scary  
Uneasy feelings that would always come when I thought about these questions,

Will _you_ stay like this forever?

Will _you_ always be there when I need you?

Will _you_ change and leave me alone then?

Or, will I change and leave _you_ someday?

I would never know about the future and it made me scared

There were times when I felt like giving up on _you_  
The very 1st time _you_ broke my heart, it was 3,8 years ago  
Even thinking about _you_ made me nothing but sad  
2012, it was the second. I almost wanted to stop loving _you_  
I almost lost my hope in _you_  
I tried to distract myself from _you_ but failed miserably  
Even until now, I still couldn't find a way to completely cut our bond that we've shared  
But that made me happy somehow  
Because it only proved that my love was still there for _you_  
  
Looking back to the days I've spent with _you_ , _you_ were the one who taught me that love is about believing  
I was very grateful for friends who gave me courage and always reminded me that I’m not alone  
They made me want to believe in _you_ again  
I then continued loving _you_ calmly, adored you as much as the time I fell for _you_ for the first time  
It was hard, really  
The time flew by, it was so hard to believe while I could barely see _you_ anymore  
I could barely feel your presence  
 _you_ slowly slipped away from my life  
But this year, this month, _you_ showed me evidence that believing _you_ was worth the time I've spent without _you_.  
The happiness I felt when I finally saw _you_ again after such a long time, it was wonderful

  


_“I want to cherish you forever”_ – that was what I've always had in mind

  


Now, I’m here sitting alone writing this for _you_  
How are _you_ now?  
I've missed _you_ a little too much  
When I think about the past, I can’t help but letting my eyes being filled with water  
Things like time machine, if that thing really existed, I want to make it so I can go back to the time when _you_ were so real  
But I know, everything can’t be brought back like it was before  
It just won’t be the same  
It’s okay  
As long as _you_ are still in my heart  
Your special place in it, it will not disappear  
And many years later, if the time comes for me to open my special folder that contains only _you_ , I will surely smile and proudly say,

  


_“You are the memories I don’t ever want to forget”_

  


Thank _you_ for everything,  
赤亀

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first work here! i hope you can enjoy this! :>  
> comments are really appreciated! thank you :)


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